I doubt I’m the only one who finds the male fascination with video games odd and a little disturbing. When I was a child, video games were an innocent way to spend a few hours in the afternoon when it was raining outside. My brother and I had many good times playing the original Nintendo, and before that, the Texas Instruments video game …thing. I don’t remember exactly what it was called. But when the rain cleared, the games went back to gathering dust. They found their ultimate home in the dust collectors bin once Garth and I were out of elementary school.

Fast forward a few decades to the 21st Century and now many guys who are well beyond puberty spend hours staring at the screen, game controller (joystick?) in hand, as hours go by. What’s wrong with this picture? Just for kicks, in case you need clarification, I’ve put together a list of ways that you know you’re a gamer if …

1. You spend more than two hours per day gaming, don’t have a girlfriend, and haven’t yet figured out the cause/effect relationship between the two.

2. If you do have a girlfriend, you manage to block out the sound of her voice when she complains about your excessive gaming. (Note: this would make you not only a gamer, but also a loser.)
3. Sleep and showering are secondary and tertiary to “beating your last score.” (See also #1)
4. You have posters of girls on your walls, but you don’t actually know any girls personally.
5. You place potato chips on your gut while you play, or you can reach into the bag without taking your eyes off the game.

6. When someone talks about a fantasy, you assume they are taking about football.
7. You’re over 25 and you still live with your parents.
8. Last time you checked, you had a Super Mario Bros. ringtone on your cellphone. But it’s hard for you to remember because its been weeks since someone called you.
9. You’ve never met any of your closest friends in person.
   And finally, you know you’re a gamer if …
10. You took personal offense at more than one item in this list.